killing time (flashback)

At least someone seemed to be in a good mood. Jalen simply thought about driving, just driving anywhere and not stopping until he cooled off, until he could think straight. However, it seemed that once he got in the car, his instincts told him to go to the Potter household.

He was frustrated- no, it was borderline angry because of his father. Just when he thought things between them were getting better, Jin Seong would say something or expect something so ridiculous of his son, and it would bring them back to square one. To that misery and questionable existence without Atepa around. It had been years since she died, and yet her death still affected them both greatly.

Running fingers through that black hair, wanting to pull on the loose curls, the door opened. It wasn't Reagan's smiling face greeting him, but one of her sisters. Still, it seemed to bring him down a notch and away from that boiling point. Rosalie was always nice to be around.

"Oh, right...that was today," he murmured mostly to himself as Rose mentioned the ACT. He had forgotten. He felt like he was forgetting a lot of things as of late. Blinking, he stepped inside with a nod of thanks before trying to focus his mind on something, anything else. Fingers went through his hair again like a nervous habit. "Documentary?" Sure, let's focus on that. "What about?"

He was almost lost as he slowly followed her towards the kitchen, lingering in the doorway. Before he knew it, there was a soda bottle being held out to him. Jalen took it with another gentle "thanks"; blinking those dark eyes to try and focus. His father wasn't here, so it shouldn't matter anymore.

But, of course it did. It always mattered.

'It's about the gymnasts over at Michigan State.'

Rosalie was explaining, sounding like she was really into it, and he couldn't help but look confused by her enthusiasm. That is, until she confessed she liked true crime. Alright, that made her sound a little less crazy, and he even smirked about it while he followed her to the living room. "Me? Just...sports mostly." In which he didn't sound entirely thrilled about. "And maybe those movies of just explosions with no plot," he added in a bit of a joke, even if it was somewhat true. Sometimes you just needed something mindless to put on, and half of those Fast and the Furious movies were exactly that.

He gently sat on the edge of the couch. "You were already watchin' this, leave it on." Hell, maybe he'd find it intriguing himself, and this was her house anyhow. "I'll admit, didn't pin you for a documentary girl of any kind." That probably didn't sound like much of a compliment as he had intended it to be. In truth, he kind of thought she'd be watching shit like the Kardashians, Below Deck, or whatever those shows were. Most of the popular girls did, so he had less in common with them.

Not that he had any clue about Rose's tastes, either. It was "smart" and "intellectual", and he probably shouldn't have been surprised. She was a Potter.

Wasn't there always something underneath the mask for everyone? Some more than others, he supposed. Jalen always thought he knew who he was and what he was going to do with life, until he realized it was what his father wanted. Sure, he loved football, but was it everything?

'That's the point.'

His attention shifted back over to her, unable to suppress the smile her own seemed to bring out of him. What she said next, though, was where his expression faltered, and he huffed out a barely audible sarcastic laugh. "Right. And that's exhausting, isn't it?" he asked without stopping to think about the words leaving his mouth. Jalen just leaned back against the couch in a lazy slouch, fingers filtering through his hair again in mild frustration.

"What? That you're weirdly obsessed with criminal justice?" he asked, and he was clearly teasing about it. It wasn't weird, not really. "Sure."

In truth, he was trying to be what his father expected him to be. Sometimes, Jalen wondered who he really was, who he would be if he were to do everything his own way. It was in these moments that he understood why Chogan acted out so much.

His head lazily turned as he leaned there against the back of the couch when she laughed. Jay always noticed how the triplets looked similar, would act similarly in certain regards, but right now? Right now, Rose was looking different. She was showing that she was her own person and not just a part of the famous redheaded trio. It was endearing, and he envied it...and there he was, with no sibling competition to contend with and he was still so lost.

His brow rose in surprise. "FBI?" he echoed. The admiration seemed to grow a little, and Jalen didn't bother trying to hide the impressed look on his face, grinning widely. "Yeah, but...that's badass. Why wouldn't you want people to know that?" At least, to him, it would just make her that much more popular.

Then again, one never truly understood the populace at Hartman High.

He got it, he really did. Of course, he was likely only popular because he played sports and was pretty damn good at football, but he kind of got the feeling that the Potter triplets were on an entirely different level. They demanded your attention, and to be quite honest, if Reagan hadn't begun to tutor him, he may have steered clear of them all. He might have been more popular now because he was dating Reagan, he wasn't oblivious to that fact.

Jalen watched and listened as Rose attempted to explain, and again, he understood, but at the same time, he was still wondering why? High school politics, that's why. And he really had no room to judge when he claimed he would rebel against his father and his wishes, only to do exactly as the man wanted. Every single time.

'Nobody wants to hear that.'

A shrug, he was responding immediately and without a care in the world. "I mean, I would." Certain things. Maybe not chemistry, mathematics, or the like, but this FBI stuff for sure. "But hey-" Jalen began, turning a little on the couch as he continued to lazily lounge there, facing her a bit more. "Buffy was feminine, a cheerleader with the short skirts...and she slayed vampires. Just sayin'." He smirked, rather pleased with himself on that one.

He liked Reagan (obviously), but at times he often wondered where they were going. More like, he wasn't really sure he saw them going much of anywhere further. It wasn't that he didn't care about her, because despite the jock stereotypes and his habit of picking on "the little guy" when his patience was running thin, he sometimes felt like they didn't fit. Not completely, anyway. Usually, Jalen just chalked that up to being too tired from practice or his father's nagging wearing him thin, and then would promptly ignore it.

Maybe he shouldn't.

Rea was dealing with a lot with preparing for college and the upcoming senior year, and Jay didn't want to make it more stressful. She was a comfort to him, took care of him without him needing to ask, and he wanted to be able to be that kind of presence in return.

Why was it so hard sometimes?

"Eh, you'll get there," he said jokingly before turning his attention over to the television to be lost in thought. "Kickboxing, huh? That's pretty cool. I always wanted to learn something, like tae kwon do. But 'that won't get me far'..." The sudden inflection in his voice likely signified he was quoting his father. "Don't have much time for anything else anyway."

Wow, that sounded like a poor excuse, didn't it?